January 31, 2009


It's been a while since I wrote about what's going in this thing called life, maybe it's because I can't seem to sit still long enough to put my thoughts together. I will share some of the things that have happen in the last month. (I have linked the colored words to explain what i'm talking about)

-I would tell you how I was a tattoo artist for a week, I actually did get to tattoo my friend, and found it to be very relaxing, if the opportunity had presented itself I would still be doing it and doing it quite well.
-I would tell you I'm a good student and if I spend more time studying I be even better.
-I would tell you that I feel like the last months I have felt a different feeling out in the world.
-I would tell you that the words "Not my will but thine be done" has changed and settled in my mind like never before.
-I would tell you about my reading and research has open my brain like a clear skies after a storm, things make more sense to me.
-I would tell you I miss someone I didn't expect to miss, and that part of loving someone is accepting their adoration for you, believing them when they do.
-I would tell you that a beautiful voice and talent doesn't require a slim figure, and thank goodness the entertainment world is recognizing that..... Her concert was really good.
-I would tell you that there is peace in the not knowing.
-I would tell you that I will be teaching Kung Fu to a bunch of 6 year olds starting Monday.
-I would tell you that my place of birth is calling for a visit.
-I would tell you that my faith is stronger and some days there is no choice but to believe.
-I would tell you that politics is dirty,and I put my trust in God.
-I would tell you how I like and enjoy my room, the lighting and the space, my Interior Design teacher would have been proud.
-I would tell you about how anxious I have been lately, so much that i want to do and I'm overwhelmed.
-I would tell you how much I like history, and how I watched the HBO John Adams series all in one day.
-I would tell you about a concert I went to, the man singing restored my faith in hot, manly, sweet men.
-I would tell you that Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Concords, is one of my favorite people.

So that's pretty much the month of January give and take.

oH ! this little clip is one of the reasons why I love Jemaine Clements and FOTC. I watched this at least 10 times, ..............NOTICE at 00:06 he mumbles....
so talented at making me laugh.

January 29, 2009

Dorky maybe, but it had me laughing......

Defenition of Buddie

I found this in the Urban Dictionay online
1. A Person Who Listens When You Bare Your Soul
2. A Person Who Knows You Inside And Out
3. The Person Who Can Finish Your Sentence For You
4. Who Knows Without Being Told That Your Doubting Your Relationship
5. A Person Who Does Wrong, Apologizes, And Then Takes You Out (Fishing) To Make Up For It
6. The One Person Who Annoys The Hell Out Of You, But You Never Can Get Enough Of
7. The Only Person You Hate Seeing With Another Girl Cause You Don't Think She's Good Enough
8. The Person Who Acts Like Your Brother, Chauffeur, Body Guard, Best Friend, and Sometimes More.
9. The Only One Who Knows When Your Sad, Angry, or Scared, Even When Your Pretending To Be Happy
10. The Only One Who Can Always Make You Smile, Even When Doing Manual Labour

January 25, 2009

January 21, 2009

take away everything that feels fine
catch a shape in the circles of my mind
make me feel like I belong to you
make me feel it even if it ain't true

January 16, 2009

i dare you........

I'm happy, no reason and that's the best part.
I dare you, i double dare you to be happy right NOW !
where you are, right this instant, can you do it? can you be happy just because?
I think you can.... we all can, Defie all reasons and all defeats, just decide.

January 15, 2009

Wanna watcha a cartoon?.......Pucca

So I first discovered PUCCA in the 90's on a trip to Chile. Pucca is a Korean little girl that's always after Garu her boyfriend. It's super cute, well... at least I think so.

January 13, 2009

you know when you thought you knew , but then something happens and you realize you were wrong? and then you are all turned around, makes you wonder if you knew anything at all, yeah !I felt like that the other day.

Kinda humbling to be so wrong.

January 12, 2009

January 10, 2009

this was triggered in a conversation with one of my sweet friends...Michelle you are amazing!

So I'm 33.... going to be 34 in a month, I'm also an active LDS single girl. I seen to have a reoccurring conversation, it might be because I know a lot of people that are in the same boat. So it's the same scenario, this includes men and women, "Giving up because they are in their 30's and the marriage thing hasn't happen to them".

Now I've been dating since I was 20 ( i had a late start, pretty much the story of my life) so I can understand the frustration, disillusion, the depression that comes from dating over a decade. I've been upset and sad over it, I've been heart broken several times and was even engaged once. BUT I don't understand in giving up on one's religious beliefs because of it, or settling to marry the next stranger that ask you too. I think in my 30's I know better, I been through my ups and downs. I've learned the many lessons about myself and other people, I'm not going to just throw it all out not after 30 years, not after all the tears, struggles, heart brakes and specially because I know for myself what is TRUE. It's not wise to blame God, and go astray from what one has worked for their whole entire life, as if one was a 5 year old having a tantrum because they are not getting the candy they want when they want it. I think that defeats Faith in a higher power.
I guess I just don't get it, the attitude of giving up, it's not the best or smartest thing for us. If we were to do the best and kindest things for us, we would have faith in a loving Heavenly Father that will help us, because we may not have the capability to make it happen. Have faith that there are other forces out in the world. The time and timing is important, for reason that are not known to us. Not known to us because in the mercy of a Heavenly Father, it is best for us to not know. There is a design to our lives. So I believe in being kind and good to myself by not loosing faith, by being patient with what I can and can't control.

A happy life is not founded on faithless beliefs or lack of integrity to our morals and values.

I would much rather be single and happy, than in a marriage I created to satisfy my impatience with loneliness, or any other needy insecurity. I think marriage will be a great wonderful thing , if it where to the right person at the right time. I hope that our spiritual journey with God and ourselves is not based on how our lives are going, and at the smallest defeat we give up, we stop believing what we know as true. I believe in a kind Heavenly Father that loves his children, at times by ignoring their request cause he knows a better way. It's sad to watch people make these kind of decisions. They give into self doubt and of course this will diminish their feelings of being loved. I wish I could show them how loved they are, and put their hearts at peace. But I don't have the power to do this, all I can do is be there for them and loved them no matter what. I pray that they make the best choices for themselves and that I can be the best kind of friend I can possibly be for them.

Life is not easy, being single is not an easy thing for me, it never has been, I have no assurance that marriage will happen for me, but I know that Heavenly Father loves me and whatever happens ,I will always know that and I will always love him back as best I'm able to.

How do we love God?, by not giving up on ourselves......

January 8, 2009

i went to the DI

Sometimes I like to document my day, I went to DI. I think you can always find interesting things if you take the time to look, and maybe look with a different eye.

yes I did spy and followed this man to take the picture, I'm guilty of stalking the Elvis-wanna be.

visually pleasing to my eye, these Barbies, the top pic. not so sure what it is...maybe all the colored skin nudity (I'll explain latter in another entry) and the bottom pic. its the pretty pink. If these dolls could talk wonder what they'd say?

do you see it? there is some design form here, don't know about function, well... maybe if one is looking for a chartreuse ice cube tray...

these dolls freak me out, If I had them in my room at night they would scare the crap out of me, I much prefer the Barbie dolls ,not to play with but being in my room at night, that's what I mean.

I was interested in 2 videos here, can you guess which ones?

  • IF you said the KUNG FU collection then you are RIGHT!!, cause if you didn't know I practice Kung Fu, like for reals, like I get down and dirty with a bunch of boys at a gym. I have a Sifu and everything, yah!
  • IF you guess the double video on the right THE PARTNER DANCING THE COUNTRY WAY then you are right again, I am a fan of country dancing. A-ha!

Well there you have it my report on my trip to the DI. I did buy some things too.. like 3 awesome cd's ( Joshua James still wrapped, afrocuban music, Andean music from Chile) a vintage leather jacket and a purse. the end.

January 5, 2009


what is closeness? is it the distance of steps, or affection. Sometimes we think we are close to someone, when in fact they are worlds away. I think is not physical, mental, or even emotional at times. But two people wanting to be seen, they open their doors to try to be understood, and in return there is a connection. I'm not just talking in a romantic way but in general. It certainly takes two willing people, to focused people.

January 4, 2009

January 3, 2009

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
-CS Lewis

January 1, 2009

natalie dee

Hey, hey, hey, heya

Happy New Years Day! today we can start fresh, and the numbers in history we write will have a different year. Being a genealogist dates are very important to me. Maybe this will be just another year or maybe this will be the year were we have dates that will forever be remembered. When searching for ancestors, in film or an old Parrish book, years are so important. I wonder about what life was like, for example my French basque and ancestors, the french words, the ink, the priest, the mansion (house in french) if they were happy that day. Then almost a year later I can always expect to find the baptism of there first child. When we are living, dates and moments pass us by quickly, but after we are gone, to someone else those dates are meaningful. A while back I started a chronological biography, of every year of my life, with important events like, school grades, boyfriends, mission, births and deaths of relatives, etc. What I found was as I forced myself to think back on time and history, I remembered things that I had forgotten, I'm not done with it. I keep on adding more to it. But looking at it is pretty amazing my own personal time line. The purpose is to write my autobiography eventually. As a genealogist I wished I had more information on individuals, so I have to leave something for my descendants. I have met people that my future generations will not get to meet, so I will write about my family members too.