August 28, 2008

Days are going.

The days are going so fast. I feel I need more hours in the day, so much I want to do. I'm starting to get the feeling again, the one that send me to Boise for 10 months . I feel like am in the verge of change again. Maybe am just paranoid. I feel like am waiting for something to happened. This whole year i been trying to get a permanent job. I have worked altogether about 3 months. I couldn't believe it but is true. I guess things do need to change and change will come. I could get upset about how my life since last October has been unstable, and believe me at times I have, but I choose to be optimistic, and accept "WHAT IS". Acceptance has brought me unexpected tranquility. This summer has been a very happy one for me, even without a job. But am ready for whatever is coming, am not longer going to pout and reject what life has in store. I welcome it.

August 27, 2008

how sweet it is?

days and nights

songs and lyrics

summer and fall

the crickets sing and I'm wide awake

August 20, 2008

So where does a friendship starts and where does it end.?
When does love begin after being friends, when does it die and continues to be friendship?
There is a difference between friendship and love, romantic love.
I think is time for me to make the difference actuality.

August 14, 2008


Lord Byron is one of my favorite poets. Not sure why, I first heard of him in high school. I was so intrigued by him, that I researched and read all about his life, and not because I had to for school. Maybe the fact that he was so attractive or that he had a so called love relationship with Percy Shelly (another poet I also like), or that he was lame or his troubled relationship with is mother. It doesn't matter, it was all so romantic to me, and not in the chocolates and candy kinda way, but in a seducing kind (which for me does not in-tell chocolates,candy or expensive dinners). He did write Don Juan after all.
Here is one of his poems.


O, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have a rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.

August 13, 2008

i'm not a writer.

yeah! am not. I'm an artist. So this is warning to all of you grammar/spelling/ i have a hissy fit with punctuation people. I try.. really, I even hit the spell check, I have 2 languages in my little brain Spanish and English and they like to play little games in my head. I also make up words in Spanish, not on purpose of course, but it's been a source of entertainment that has brought many laughs to my parents. They usually laugh at me , imitate my voice and then latter correct me. All I do is lift my shoulders and laugh with them. So getting back to my warning, or apology , which ever you like. Am not an expert in the English language or the Spanish , but i do have double the amount of words you have in your brain, so bear with me if am not to par with your grammar or spelling. I also am, a free spirit that doesn't like to many rules (it's pretty amazing I do belong to a religion) or regulations when it comes to expressing myself. Sometimes I just write what sounds good to me, well in Spanish that usually how one writes....there are no ghost letters. One last addition to the mix is my ADD or ADHD, dyslexia and well there you have it...So there it is, be patient and flexible with me as i try to get my point across, ok...ok thank you! very muchy

UPDATE: I do have to add that I welcome corrections, I like to learn from my please let me know, graciously Fabiola.


This past weekend I got to spend sometime with one of my nieces in Colorado. Her name is Ella and she is almost 2 years old. She is so sweet ,really! She never gets tired of smiling. I so want to be like that. Here are some pictures of her. Oh and she's good with the computer too.

August 7, 2008

I like lyrics

I like lyrics...a lot, poetry too.
I'm one of those people that listens to the words in songs. I can be completely inspired by a line in a song and write a poem about it or just open a whole dialogue in my head (one that can go on for hours, take a break and then come back)

There's a line in a song that lately i been thinking about "Isn`t it time you got over how fragile you are..."
It was a little wake up call...yeah isn't it time...enough all ready.

I'm in a great place in my life, things are not perfect but I am happy.
Not for any reason other than an realization of peace....inner content-ness...A few weeks ago, i had this excitement inside of me. I can't describe it, just happy i guess and I could see some of my friends were a bit an underling sadness was beautiful to me. Why ? because it's life and that is part of it.
We all can get so sucked into our little worlds, we forget to breath, it's beautiful cause we are alive, we do feel and we are not numb. Insecurities and fears, troubles and loneliness...its all true cause we feel it, it's real. But, if we can just be OK with being OK, with being fragile and then getting over it. SO what! that we had a broken heart, so what we are not there yet, so what !'s really be here at this moment and take it all in and accept it for what it is. I think the moment we get out of ourselves, that moment we start just being who we really are....and loving all of it, the good the bad and the ugly, then we are then not so fragile. When I say getting over ourselves I mean looking outside of our own perspective, taking off those horse blinder's and seeing everything else, maybe even laughing about it.

I love little kids they are so wise...they want to be strong and tough, they love super heroes and believe in the impossible... They are not fragile, but brave and adventurous (at least most kids are) and the best part of them is that they are so forgiving. No wonder we are told to be like little children they get it and get over it.

Life is not out to get us, we make ourselves fragile to it.
It's time to stop being so hurt and wounded. It's time to get up and get over it.
So it's OK you are not liked, it's OK that things don't work out, it's OK that we make mistakes, it's not the end of you and certainly not the end of life,.

So thank you Miss Anna Nalick...i got it, by the way the song is called " Shine" and the chorus says " shine away".Please do, shine and be who you are (which is not a fragile wounded soul)
I guess I am speaking from experience and being fragile doesn't work for me anymore, it hasn't for a while...I choose to befriend life, with whatever it has to bring. So bring it!

Uh! that reminds me a friend this past weekend passed something someone had told her, she said "EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A GIFT, EVERYTHING " (that includes all of it)... wow! blew my mind. I'm keeping that one, I'm watering it, giving it some sun and keeping it alive.

so here i go

I've had this blog for a few years now..and I mostly posted poems (usually inspired by a heartbreak )and pictures. I have only shared it with a a few friends and my sister, but now I'm ready to go public and write more about what is going on with me. Maybe it's a desire to put it out in the universe or something like that or maybe a subconscious wish to change things a bit. I like to change things often actually, is fun for me to see what comes of it and what it attracts. This summer has been a great a example of that ,some many fun and new things have appeared and i have enjoy all of it. A few years ago when i turned 30 i started rock climbing and country swing dancing. I hated country for so many years but dancing got me into it, and now I love it, even if am not very good. I would have never done it in a millions years but i decided why not? why not try something tacky like line dancing and make a complete fool of myself trying to do the boot scoot boogie. I now am a fan of country and swinging to it. I've had a good time doing it and it made me braver (going to a club all by myself and dancing with strangers)

So in my attempt to change things (i guess I'm conscious now) i will post more often... i made a list the other day of little changes i will and have been making :

-listen to up beat music (i tend to like sad music), I'm changing everything on my ipod
-write on my blog ha!
-wear a necklace (i tend not to wear jewelry which is weird cause i make lots of necklaces)
-wear my glasses more often ( yes i have glasses, but don't wear them to often, is a very tiny prescription)
-read more non-fiction ( usually tend to read self help books)
-gratitude journal ( i have to start again to write 5 things am grateful for every night before I go to bed) is not easy let me tell you
-change my ring on my phone and clean out my contacts
-rearrange my room, i took down all pictures and drawings of single personas and changed then for multiples and couples , at the advice of my feng shui book, this is supposed to reflect that one is not a lone, but surrounded by people.
-invite people to be my friend on facebook, i tend to wait for someone else to invite
-wear more skirts (they are much more cooler than shorts)

these may seem very insignificant changes...but they do work, sometimes "great things come from small things" plus is easier to make little changes than big ones right?!....try it sometime take the long way home, try a different kind of ice cream, listen to music you wouldn't usually listen too, open yourself to doing things a bit different, i think you'll be surprised. It's so great we have the choice and freedom to change things , and be a complete different person, from our clothes to how we eat...

I love it.