January 10, 2009

this was triggered in a conversation with one of my sweet friends...Michelle you are amazing!

So I'm 33.... going to be 34 in a month, I'm also an active LDS single girl. I seen to have a reoccurring conversation, it might be because I know a lot of people that are in the same boat. So it's the same scenario, this includes men and women, "Giving up because they are in their 30's and the marriage thing hasn't happen to them".

Now I've been dating since I was 20 ( i had a late start, pretty much the story of my life) so I can understand the frustration, disillusion, the depression that comes from dating over a decade. I've been upset and sad over it, I've been heart broken several times and was even engaged once. BUT I don't understand in giving up on one's religious beliefs because of it, or settling to marry the next stranger that ask you too. I think in my 30's I know better, I been through my ups and downs. I've learned the many lessons about myself and other people, I'm not going to just throw it all out not after 30 years, not after all the tears, struggles, heart brakes and specially because I know for myself what is TRUE. It's not wise to blame God, and go astray from what one has worked for their whole entire life, as if one was a 5 year old having a tantrum because they are not getting the candy they want when they want it. I think that defeats Faith in a higher power.
I guess I just don't get it, the attitude of giving up, it's not the best or smartest thing for us. If we were to do the best and kindest things for us, we would have faith in a loving Heavenly Father that will help us, because we may not have the capability to make it happen. Have faith that there are other forces out in the world. The time and timing is important, for reason that are not known to us. Not known to us because in the mercy of a Heavenly Father, it is best for us to not know. There is a design to our lives. So I believe in being kind and good to myself by not loosing faith, by being patient with what I can and can't control.

A happy life is not founded on faithless beliefs or lack of integrity to our morals and values.

I would much rather be single and happy, than in a marriage I created to satisfy my impatience with loneliness, or any other needy insecurity. I think marriage will be a great wonderful thing , if it where to the right person at the right time. I hope that our spiritual journey with God and ourselves is not based on how our lives are going, and at the smallest defeat we give up, we stop believing what we know as true. I believe in a kind Heavenly Father that loves his children, at times by ignoring their request cause he knows a better way. It's sad to watch people make these kind of decisions. They give into self doubt and of course this will diminish their feelings of being loved. I wish I could show them how loved they are, and put their hearts at peace. But I don't have the power to do this, all I can do is be there for them and loved them no matter what. I pray that they make the best choices for themselves and that I can be the best kind of friend I can possibly be for them.

Life is not easy, being single is not an easy thing for me, it never has been, I have no assurance that marriage will happen for me, but I know that Heavenly Father loves me and whatever happens ,I will always know that and I will always love him back as best I'm able to.

How do we love God?, by not giving up on ourselves......


  1. I loved this - every word.

  2. thanks! I wasn't sure about writing this, i've just seen so many people lately ,especially girls in this situation, it's sad.