Invictus by William Ernest Henley

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

want someone to sing this to me.

I adore the rain
the roaring and the thunder callin
the freshness moves in.
like this , I wish it would stay for a little longer.
and you company me.
louder louder it poures.

Lesson in a Chili's

Spend enough time walking downtown and you 'll have stories to tell. I met a man yesterday , his name is Ayi Ayi from West Africa, he's a refuge and was stranded until his sponsor met up with him this Thursday. He was hungry and asked me for food, not money. Now I have to just say I'm not the kind of person that gives money to the beggars every time I see one, and in no way I'm trying to brag, this is not something I would normally do, buy a complete stranger dinner at Chili's, and sit with him as he ate. But ,I did feel at the moment I should ,so i did. He had been in a concentration camp for 9 months in his homeland of Togo, before he had been seen sent here, he was tortured and his eyesight had been damaged because of it. His family was killed in a bombing. I was completely intrigued, between the smiles of eating food and watery eyes of the painful experiences he had lived since last week being in the streets, I felt an immense sense of gratitude, that I could in some way help him and make his journey a little better. The were a lot of thank yous and mercies, he expressed his gratefulness. Last night and this morning I woke up thinking about him, I do not understand the reasons for suffering in the world, but I do know that we can be part in someones healing, that we can help even with a meal, or a few minutes of listening to someone. That day he helped me more that what I believe I did for him. Is not everyday I have the opportunity to meet men of courage, in fact it's very rare, but when it does happen, I'm changed a bit and forever.

bad and good day

I don't know what has kept me from writing. There hasn't been a lack of things. Today I had a bad day. I know we all do, every few weeks or once a month.I'm not going to bore you with details, but it had me on my knees praying for some light. Then, after my pouting and tantrum I took the bus downtown. The bus is a very strange place. All sorts of characters meet there. For me, the bus ride always makes little more thankful along with a reality check, as if while riding I'm given a lesson in life. Today wasn't any different. I sat across a young man, blind and riding the bus. I couldn't keep me eyes from him his dead eyes, he had his long stick and beside him, attentively waiting for his bus stop. When he got off, i was a little worried for him, but this is my lack of faith you see, he's gone all his life without my help. He seemed to know where he was going with out really seeing it.
I had spend most of the morning crying over losing something dear to me. And this young man how does he do it? Moving from place to place in darkness, how does he find things when they are lost. Makes me realized that as grateful as i am and as much as i complaint, i wouldn't trade my trials for anyone else's. But also made me think that some people, like this young man and are stronger and more courageous than I will ever be.
Today was a good day to be humbled.

poem by Pablo Neruda

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Translated by Stephen Tapscott

Why this poem today? It makes me think of someone, he's not far but runs from me all the time. Love, real love, passionate love, is not easily forgotten, we are fools in love, thinking we can control it. It linger and festers, changing us forever. I have stop running from it , I surrender to it, and will now wait for it to come, it comes, it always comes.